Posts tagged history
Hello, Tailor
“Siege d’amour” - the sex chair designed to allow 3 people to have oral sex together, commissioned by Edward VII while Prince of Wales. It was kept in his private room at Le Chabanais, an upmarket Paris brothel in the 1880s.
I LOVE OLD TIMEY SEX THINGIES.
Okay no. This isn’t meant for 3 people to have oral sex together.
The theory is that Prince Edward VII was too fat to have sex without crushing the girls at the brothel, so the chair was developed to assist him. (x)
MYTHBUSTED.
You know, I checked out zohbugg because of that humorous uruk-hai sword post, but it was clearly a good decision to follow her.
Come for the jokes about LOTR, stay for the sex chairs.
Cannibal Cutlery
Fijian tribesmen used this macabre set of forks to eat the bodies of rival warriors. The pronged antiques date from the 19th century when tribal chiefs devoured their enemies after they had been killed. Their bodies were brought back to the victors’ village by members of the tribe and served to the community and chiefs. Tribal attendants would hand-feed sections of the meat to their leaders with the forks, which were only used on special occasions.
Cannibalism was practised in Fiji for centuries - but faded away in the late 19th century after Christianity was introduced and British colonial rule imposed. To eat an enemy was to inflict the ultimate humiliation on the island, known as the Cannibal Isles. Some victims were kept alive while their body parts were sliced off and cooked in front of them. Skulls were used as drinking bowls, and sexual organs were hung from trees as trophies of victory in battle. Rev Thomas Baker was murdered, cooked and consumed while trying to spread Christianity in Fiji’s rugged highlands in July 1867. Legend has it that Mr Baker, a Methodist minister born in Playden, Sussex, was murdered after breaking a taboo by taking a comb from a chief’s hair. But historians say the real reason was resistance to the spread of Christianity and complex tribal politics.
But if you ever go to Fiji, don’t buy the crappy-ass cannibal forks they sell in the tourist shops. They don’t work at all well.
(Source: fiftyyearstoolate, via typhonatemybaby)
“Now, Maria Leontievna. I understand you’re applying for the position of Biggest Badass of the 20th Century?”
“I am.”
“And what are your qualifications?”
“I founded the Women’s Battalion of Death.”
Katherine Hepburne as the amazing Eleanor of Aquitaine in The Lion in Winter.
evidently i must watch this movie
(via typhonatemybaby)
only 90s kids remember the eugenics wars reblog if your a real 90s kid
(via typhonatemybaby)
25 notes &
TOO REAL
sometimes i think i’m arrogant but then i remember that julius caesar was kidnapped by cicilian pirates and when they demanded a ransom of 620 kgs of silver he got mad because he thought he was worth more than that and made them raise it to 1550 kg
(via typhonatemybaby)
So I made a cheeky end-of-term project for my zombies in pop culture class.
Most of the semester has consisted of reading accounts of white dudes visiting the natives of various countries and talking about cannibalism. So I came up with a story (I had video game in mind when I was making it) where the white settlers were trying to escape Europe and the plague that brought the dead to life.
Just before making landfall, everyone on the ships catches the illness and become the flesh eating undead. The native americans are left to find these massive ships that have washed ashore and are full of pale walking corpses
and they’re like WELP IT’S NOT LIKE THE COLD WINTERS AND OCCASIONAL STARVATION AND WRESTLING WITH BEARS EVER KILLED US so they all just set out to hit all the zombie settlers in the brains with tomahawks and shit and just take it with a grain of salt.
I hope I can keep a straight face when I present this in class oh my god.
PS: The native american outfits are all more or less accurate (albeit from different tribes and eras) considering I did this whole project in two days. But for the settlers I was literally just referencing Halloween costumes hahaha.
A+ 10/10 I would play the hell out of this
:)
the puritans are portrayed perfectly, when they first landed on our lands they were so ill prepared for winter and were resorting to digging up Native graves and eating the dead
OMG I DID NOT NO THAT jfc moniyawak
THE BABY THO
this is the coolest fuckin’ thing ever
I WOULD READ THIS CHILDREN’S BOOK. OR PLAY THIS VIDEO GAME.
MORE UNDEAD PURITANS PLZ.
When he was 2 years old, he fell out of a second story window and fractured his skull
When he was 6 years old, he mistakenly drank boric acid.
When he was 9 years old, he fell over a small cliff and broke his leg.
When he was 11 years old, he contracted measles and was in a coma for nine days.
When he was 14 years old, he broke his arm when he caught it in a carriage door.
When he was 19 years old, he was struck on the head by a falling brick.
When he was 23 years old, he almost died from the effects of tainted wine.
When he was 29 years old, Adolph Sax invented the saxophone.
clearly someone didn’t want that saxophone invented
THIS NEEDS TO BE A 300-PAGE SCI-FI NOVEL BECAUSE I WOULD READ THE HELL OUTTA THAT
that’s a harsh way for the universe to teach someone to play the blues
COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO JIVE
