Dad:Wait, Loki's destroying all the frost giants even though he is one?
Me:He's trying to prove to his father, and by extension all of Asgard, that he's really one of them and that he's worthy and mansome like Thor. Also, self-loathing.
Dad:If I were his dad, this wouldn't have happened.
Me:If you were Loki's dad, our children would be born without eyelids.
Me:Calm it down, dad.
Dad:HE'S CRYING AGAIN. I HATE IT WHEN HE CRIES. MAKE HIM STOP.
Me:*sigh* Oh, would that I could.
Dad:Do you think if I gave Odin a cow and some goats he would agree to have Loki marry you so you can make sure he never cries again?
Me:First of all, you live in the suburbs and have no livestock to speak of. Second, probably not, as I am a commoner and kind of gross-looking. Third, I strongly object to the prospect of being bartered.
Dad:I'd probably have to give him two cows.
Dad:Loki just did a pole dance.
Dad:He sits with his legs spread like a cheap strumpet and he twirls on a pole.
Dad:Loki's a slut.
Thor:*pins Loki down with Mjolnir*
Loki:*yell* *squirm* *grunt*
Dad:HAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHA!
Loki:I could have done it, father!
Dad:Oh my god.
Dad:SHUT UP ANTHONY HOPKINS YOU NEGLECTFUL ASSHOLE. IF LOKI WERE MY SON I WOULD BE NICE TO HIM.
Me:*ruptures internal organs trying not to laugh*
Dad:OH NO OH NO OH NO
Loki:*lets go of the spear*
Dad:DAMNIT ODIN YOU AREN'T UPSET ENOUGH
Me:Dad, don't give yourself a palpitation.
Dad:WTF Loki just comitted suicide and these assholes are throwing a feast and partying.